By Leena Khalifa
It seems Thai women today are the way American women were fifty years ago, before they discovered their rights. Or at least that’s how Joseph Davis of California sees it. Mr. Davis, who was featured in the New York Times, says that because of American womens’ awareness of their rights, the situation between American men and women is not “as relaxed” as the one between an American man and a Thai woman.
If anything, Western men coming to Thailand to find wives is not new nor rare – in fact, it seems to have developed into its own craft. Udon Thani, a city in northeastern Thailand, is especially popular, and has played host to some of the earliest cross-cultural marriages – ones that took place between local women and U.S. soldiers during the Vietnam War. Now, Udon Thani even has a street that is called “Foreign Son-in-Law Street” where the Western husbands generally get together for drinks. The secretary of the Udon Thani Provincial Office said that there were 845 women in Udon Thani married to foreign men and living in Thailand, and more than a thousand were abroad with their foreign spouses.
It is of interest to note that Isaan, the area with the highest number of these mixed marriages, also happens to be the poorest area in Thailand. It is no secret that these marriages have become a matter of business for many of these Thai brides, a simple means of survival and comparative prosperity. They are young, and in the poverty that surrounds them they seek men who are financially stable and able to support not only them but their families as well. These men, for the most part, are retired and living on pensions. Thus, the age gaps seen are usually no less than twenty years.
This craft of interracial marriage has initiated a flurry of dating agencies in Thailand and online sites as well. Foreign men often look online for women prior to their first visits to Thailand – women who they very likely may end up marrying. Thai women, on the other hand, go to dating agencies to set up profiles and to facilitate the meeting process. These agencies, “Introductory Service” being the name of one of them, come with their own screening processes and preferences developed from experience with costumers (Western men), traits like an adequate command of English and an age not too frowned upon by society, although even nineteen-year-olds are signed up. Videos are taken of the girls to show to those who are interested. All in all it is seems to be a process reminiscent of factory assembly lines, a process of convenience, demand, efficiency, and careful arrangement.
The factory, however, does not come without its own faults. Online expat forums, like thaivisa.com, have dedicated entire boards to accommodate this marriage community, a community in which almost 11,000 foreigners wed Thai women. These online boards have an intense focus on topics of divorce and pre-nuptial arrangements. But to put it more accurately, the discussions seem to center on the practical and straightforward, rather than the sentimental and idealistic. Issues of discussion can for example deal with visa arrangements for the Thai brides, or as mentioned earlier, about pre-nuptials and Thai marriage laws. Alas, the expat man appears to be wary.
And so it seems that Thailand reserves a place for all desires. Travellers may cross this country for its quaint temples, its outrageous sex industry, its beaches and mountains, or its mouthwatering cuisine. But for the man over fifty who hails from the West, this place holds a woman that may become a wife that will provide him with comforts his modern world no longer sees as necessary.
Leena Khalifa, 21 is currently pursuing a purpose in life, but also hopes to hold a Bachelor of Arts in International Studies by the end of 2013. If you're nice, she might mention you when she accepts her Oscar
